Monday, December 17, 2007

Gun Free Zone Spoof

An oldie but goody:

4 comments:

Ron Paul said...

Dear Gun Owner,

I hope, like me, you're a strong supporter of the Right to Keep and Bear Arms.

My name is Ron Paul, and I'm the only pro-gun, pro-Constitution candidate running for the Republican nomination for president of the United States.

The fact is, I believe those of us who support gun rights and the Constitution need to take a stand NOW, before it's too late.

You see, if you listen to many politicians in Washington, the gun control crowd, and their mouthpieces in the "mainstream" media, you'd think the reason for our crime problem is a lack of tough (and un-Constitutional) gun-control legislation.

That, my friend, is NONSENSE.

It's a lie propagated by high-and-mighty politicians who think their job is to look out for "our own good" and who think all the problems of the world would be solved if they just exerted a little more control over our lives.

Their answer?

Force law-abiding American citizens who want to protect themselves through more bureaucratic rigmarole and throw up more "gun free zone" signs.

The result?

CRIMINALS ignore those signs and "regulations" and innocent people -- who are rendered helpless by obeying the law -- pay the price!

I can tell you from my years in Washington that some politicians just can't get it through their heads that you can't create a safe society by disarming the good guys.

If you want a president who will stand up for the United States Constitution, and who will LEAD the fight to restore our Second Amendment rights, then I hope to earn your support.

Many "Republican" opponents and I don't see eye-to-eye on this important Constitutional issue. In fact, some of my opponents' views are more in line with Teddy Kennedy than with our Founding Fathers!

Well, like you, I genuinely treasure our beautiful republic, and I've always had a desire to serve our country.

In the mid-1970s, I decided to "throw my hat in the ring" and run for Congress, because -- quite frankly -- I was disgusted with the disdain politicians from both parties had for our Constitution.

I'm sure you know just as well as I do that it's the Constitution that protects our God-given liberties as Americans. The truth is, those politicians who seem so eager to take a match and burn this treasured document are a grave danger to us all.

As you may have heard, I'm now serving my 10th term as United States congressman from the 14th district of Texas. That experience has taught me many things, but above all, just how valuable and important our freedoms are. I want my children and grandchildren to have even more liberty than I've been blessed with.

But the fact is, if you and I have learned anything from past presidential administrations, and the current liberal Congress, it's that our freedoms are constantly under attack. And unfortunately, we've also learned we can't trust every politician in Washington, D.C. with an "R" next to his or her name to do the right thing.

That's why when any politician goes on attack against our Second Amendment rights, you can be sure that I will boldly stand against them.

As a United States Congressman, I have:

- Led the fight to restore the Second Amendment rights to all Americans, without infringement, that have been stripped away;

- Introduced legislation to repeal the so-called "Gun Free Zone" victim disarmament law of 1990;

- Introduced legislation to repeal the 1993 National "Instant Background Check" gun registration bill;

- Authored legislation to stop taxpayer funds from going to the anti-gun United Nations;

- Opposed all gun control schemes that would register ALL private sales and mandate government "Lock-up Your Safety" devices;

- Introduced legislation to protect American citizens' freedom to carry in our national parks.

- Publicly Opposed legislation just this year that would allow government-appointed psychiatrists to ban U.S. veterans experiencing even mild forms of Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome from EVER owning a gun.

If nominated to represent the Republican Party in 2008, you can bet I'll continue to be 100% pro-gun and 100% pro-freedom -- unlike some of my opponents whose messages "get tailored" to fit the views of the crowd they're talking to.

But more than that, I will be a leader for our Constitutional rights -- all of them -- especially your gun rights.

That's why I am running for the Republican nomination for president of the United States.

The fact is, I've never thought that standing up for the Constitution was anything to be ashamed of, but too many of our politicians nowadays care more about their hair than what is right.

Gun control is NOT the answer to our crime problem -- and not one of our Constitutional rights is up for "debate."

Every new restriction creates more bureaucracy that will spend more of our tax dollars and force police to waste time on paperwork instead of patrolling the streets.

Whether you own a gun for personal protection or if you don't own a gun and just believe in the U.S. Constitution -- I hope to earn your support.
That's why I hope you will support me in four important ways:

First, please Sign-up for Email Alerts

Second, I ask you to tell every pro-Second Amendment voter you know about my campaign. The fact is, maybe I'm just not enough of a left-winger for the Katie Couric and her gun-grabbing pals in the mainstream media, but I know the power of your grassroots activism.

You know just as well as I do that this would be a far different country if it wasn't for folks like you who are willing to take action for and stand for what is right. So please spread the word to family, friends, neighbors, church members, and fellow hunters -- and people you know that just plain care about the Constitution. You can use the following text to send out an email to all your contacts.

And third, it's not easy for me to ask, but I ask for your financial support as well. The best ideas in the world can't make a difference unless I can present them to the voters, and the fact is that will take money.

That's why I ask you to make a generous contribution today . Perhaps you could afford a maximum contribution of $2,300 ? Or perhaps $1,000 ? Whatever you can do, $500 , $250 , $100 , $75 , $50 , or $35 will help.

And fourth -- if at all possible -- get out and vote for me in your state's primary or caucus. To do this, you will need to check on your state's voter registration requirements. Some states may require you to change parties to vote in the Republican primary/caucus.

With your support, I pledge to continue fighting for our Second Amendment freedoms.

Yours truly,

Dr. Ron Paul
Republican for President

Representative Ron Paul (R-TX) believes ...

Congressman Ron Paul believes that the Second Amendment is not about duck hunting. It is an individual right that is guaranteed. He believes it is about the citizenry having the ability to restrain tyrannical governments and would be dictators.

He believes the Second Amendment is about self-defense from criminal attack and from governments that break away from the chains of the Constitution.

Congressman Ron Paul opposed the reauthorization of the Clinton-Feinstein semi-auto gun ban.

He opposes gun and gun owner registration.

Congressman Ron Paul opposes government permission systems that force law-abiding citizens "prove" their innocence before buying or owning firearms.

He opposes gun purchase rationing schemes, aka so-called "one-gun-a-month" laws.

Congressman Ron Paul opposes legislation to impose so-called gun lock requirements that make it difficult, if not impossible, to maintain a firearm in your home for self-defense.

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